You know what really upsets me? Businesses and organizations don't give out free t-shirts anymore. When I was a kid, I got a free t-shirt for signing up for the SweetTart and Berenstein Bears fan clubs. I mean, they got free advertising from a 3 year old who wet the bed! Come on, I might be 20 years older but I still wet the bed (KIDDING!) give me a freaking t-shirt!
Colleges make you pay for t-shirts, but some of the clubs may give you a free one. During orientation, your work makes you buy your work uniform. President Obama is selling t-shirts on his Facebook page. I'm sure if he gave them out he'd have a lot more fans.
At baseball games they shoot shirts from the t-shirt cannon. The shirts that are shot out are normally x-large, which won't fit on a small boy. But do we really want to see the beer gut of a guy wearing an x-small? Probably not. Which brings me to my next point, aren't there certain measurements for x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 2xl? I have mediums, larges, and x-larges in my closet. My weight doesn't fluctuate THAT much in a given year. I've been the same weight since 10th grade!
That's it for me!
Bobby P.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
What I Taught Myself....January 23, 2012
I didn't get mail today. I HATE not getting mail. Sometimes I check my mailbox three, maybe four, times a day just to make sure the mailman didn't forget me. Is it sad that I do that? Maybe. But to me, mail is like christmas that is delivered six times a week. I don't care if I get junkmail or bills. I just like having something new to read for the afternoon. Something different to look at.
That's it for me!
Bobby P.
That's it for me!
Bobby P.
Friday, November 18, 2011
What I Taught Myself....November 18, 2011
Unlike most people, I don't mind using public restrooms. In fact, I really enjoy them. Its like a vacation for your ass, and in some public restrooms it can be an exotic one. And, yes, some restrooms I am uncomfortable with. I have random thoughts of "what if a man rapist kicks in the stall door" or "what if the hooligan teen gives me a wedgie while I'm using the urinal".
But one factor of the public restroom that pisses me off (bathroom joke) is the toilet seat protector. I'm not sure how many of you use the toilet seat protector, but when I'm using the restroom and I have the option to use one, I do. But this little contraption is complicated in my book. If you were to look at the toilet seat protector (tsp for short), no where is it marked "front" or "back". Either way the little flap that helps the water flush the tsp away could ricochet the urine back at you or the poop will land on a dry surface giving you that "porta potty" environment everyone seems to enjoy.
Another thing that I don't care for is when I'm struggling to unhook the paper to open the hole of the t.s.p. sometimes I tear the rest of the seat protector. And with the automatic flushing toilets, once I accomplish opening the hole and set the protector on the toilet, the damn thing will flush and I have to start over. It just seems awkward having to struggle to use the restroom with my pants down to my ankles in a bathroom stall....
So are seat protectors just some guys sick joke to make a fool out of a guy? I believe so. At least when I use toilet paper as a protector I get more cushion and don't have to fear getting a paper cut on the roughness of the regular protector.
That's it for me!
Bobby P.
But one factor of the public restroom that pisses me off (bathroom joke) is the toilet seat protector. I'm not sure how many of you use the toilet seat protector, but when I'm using the restroom and I have the option to use one, I do. But this little contraption is complicated in my book. If you were to look at the toilet seat protector (tsp for short), no where is it marked "front" or "back". Either way the little flap that helps the water flush the tsp away could ricochet the urine back at you or the poop will land on a dry surface giving you that "porta potty" environment everyone seems to enjoy.
Another thing that I don't care for is when I'm struggling to unhook the paper to open the hole of the t.s.p. sometimes I tear the rest of the seat protector. And with the automatic flushing toilets, once I accomplish opening the hole and set the protector on the toilet, the damn thing will flush and I have to start over. It just seems awkward having to struggle to use the restroom with my pants down to my ankles in a bathroom stall....
So are seat protectors just some guys sick joke to make a fool out of a guy? I believe so. At least when I use toilet paper as a protector I get more cushion and don't have to fear getting a paper cut on the roughness of the regular protector.
That's it for me!
Bobby P.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
What I Taught Myself....November 12, 2011
I'm not the perfect Christian. I'll be the first to admit it. Just look at some of the random crap I put on my blog. But of course, who is? But I've been going to church lately because of a family situation that has had a great effect on me and my other relatives. Thats a whole other story and has little to do with what I'm talking about today. I like to ramble. Just ask those who attended my brother's wedding.
But anyway, I went to a church dinner tonight and it started to make me ponder: do all old women wear the same perfume? We live in a society where people must "smell good". Teenagers wear Axe, which smells like toilet bowl cleaner, old men wear musk that smells like the testicles it comes from, and elderly women just....stink. With their high-scented perfumes that have aged over a course of decades, they don't smell any better.
The thing is that the older a person gets, the first thing to go is the sense of smell. A guy can tell by just sitting in a church basement. A collection of old folks is a potpourri of scents and it isn't pleasant. A guy could choke on the fumes in the air.
Of course I'm not the best smelling guy in the world, but I do my best. I'm just glad I'm not living in the Stone Age where regular body odor was the Old Spice of the day.
That's it for me!
Bobby P.
But anyway, I went to a church dinner tonight and it started to make me ponder: do all old women wear the same perfume? We live in a society where people must "smell good". Teenagers wear Axe, which smells like toilet bowl cleaner, old men wear musk that smells like the testicles it comes from, and elderly women just....stink. With their high-scented perfumes that have aged over a course of decades, they don't smell any better.
The thing is that the older a person gets, the first thing to go is the sense of smell. A guy can tell by just sitting in a church basement. A collection of old folks is a potpourri of scents and it isn't pleasant. A guy could choke on the fumes in the air.
Of course I'm not the best smelling guy in the world, but I do my best. I'm just glad I'm not living in the Stone Age where regular body odor was the Old Spice of the day.
That's it for me!
Bobby P.
Friday, October 28, 2011
What I Taught Myself....October 28, 2011
Growing up I was a picky eater. Today, I'm somewhat of a picky eater. I'll complain, but I'll still eat whatever is being served. One of the things I don't care for is soups and stews.
I know we're getting into the "soup and stew" season with the weather getting colder and all. The only "stew" I really enjoy eating is chili. Otherwise, I am not totally thrilled with the pursuit of eating soup. Not even my mother knows about my lack of excitement of soup, although one time she made a "hobo stew". And yes, it did live up to the name. It was whatever was in a trash can thrown into a pot. And I felt it would've tasted better in the trash can.
So why do I dislike soup so much? Studies show that 60 cans of Campbells soup are sold every second. So shouldn't I enjoy soup? I'm the type of guy that enjoys each dish, each side, in its entirety. I'm not one to have a spoonful of yams, a spoonful of peas, then back to the yams. I eat and finish the yams, then eat and finish the peas. Why mix it all in a pot and add water? Also, I feel stews are a sign of laziness. "Hey I don't have time to make a home cooked meal so I'll throw everything in this pot and call that dinner!!" Why not add milk to it so we don't have to waste time drinking too?
But like I said earlier, I complain, but I'll eat it. Just don't expect to be served soup or stew when I'm cooking you dinner!
That's it for me!
Bobby P.
I know we're getting into the "soup and stew" season with the weather getting colder and all. The only "stew" I really enjoy eating is chili. Otherwise, I am not totally thrilled with the pursuit of eating soup. Not even my mother knows about my lack of excitement of soup, although one time she made a "hobo stew". And yes, it did live up to the name. It was whatever was in a trash can thrown into a pot. And I felt it would've tasted better in the trash can.
So why do I dislike soup so much? Studies show that 60 cans of Campbells soup are sold every second. So shouldn't I enjoy soup? I'm the type of guy that enjoys each dish, each side, in its entirety. I'm not one to have a spoonful of yams, a spoonful of peas, then back to the yams. I eat and finish the yams, then eat and finish the peas. Why mix it all in a pot and add water? Also, I feel stews are a sign of laziness. "Hey I don't have time to make a home cooked meal so I'll throw everything in this pot and call that dinner!!" Why not add milk to it so we don't have to waste time drinking too?
But like I said earlier, I complain, but I'll eat it. Just don't expect to be served soup or stew when I'm cooking you dinner!
That's it for me!
Bobby P.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
What I Taught Myself....October 9, 2011
Growing up I watched a lot of television. No, Ma didn't sit me in front of the t.v. because she needed her "me time". I was always fascinated by television. How its done, what it takes to make a tv show, and the construction of a set, casting, etc. In past years I've read even more on the creation of Sesame Street and animation.
But over the course of years I've been thinking about the oddities of one of my favorite shows "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood". For my foreign readers, "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood"is about a man who has a second home to hang out by himself and talk to a wall. He'd feed his fish, play with his trolley and puppets, and had a giant traffic signal and television set with a picture frame wrapped around it. And a mailman who must not have heard of email since he thought he brought "speedy delivery". Doesn't help that his name was Mr. McFeely and he had a mustache. Talk about child molester...
But what always bothered me was whether or not Mrs. Rogers knew about this "second life". Did she know that Mr. Rogers owned a second house where he worried about tracking dirt onto the carpets? Or had a second closet full of sweaters? We never saw him do the wash but he never took sweaters home for the wife to clean. And he never brought in a basketful of clean sweaters. And the shoes? Why not just wear slippers or socks. If your feet and arms are cold, turn up the heat.
Its sad when a man must keep such a large secret from his wife...poor guy. But he did it for decades. And she never found out.
That's it for me!
Bobby P.
But over the course of years I've been thinking about the oddities of one of my favorite shows "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood". For my foreign readers, "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood"is about a man who has a second home to hang out by himself and talk to a wall. He'd feed his fish, play with his trolley and puppets, and had a giant traffic signal and television set with a picture frame wrapped around it. And a mailman who must not have heard of email since he thought he brought "speedy delivery". Doesn't help that his name was Mr. McFeely and he had a mustache. Talk about child molester...
But what always bothered me was whether or not Mrs. Rogers knew about this "second life". Did she know that Mr. Rogers owned a second house where he worried about tracking dirt onto the carpets? Or had a second closet full of sweaters? We never saw him do the wash but he never took sweaters home for the wife to clean. And he never brought in a basketful of clean sweaters. And the shoes? Why not just wear slippers or socks. If your feet and arms are cold, turn up the heat.
Its sad when a man must keep such a large secret from his wife...poor guy. But he did it for decades. And she never found out.
That's it for me!
Bobby P.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
What I Taught Myself....September 27, 2011
So if you really know me, you already know that I love comic strips. I'm talking about the ones that are printed in the daily newspaper: Garfield, Zits, Baby Blues, etc. In fact, I always wanted a career in cartooning, yet I lack the daily creativity and the position is too competitive. Instead, I'd rather make strips for myself or family to enjoy.
But today, I got upset when I read a classic, but in my mind, overrated, comic strip Family Circus. Family Circus is a strip that started in 1960 and drawn by Bil Keane. It is based off of Keane's life as a cartoonist/father with his wife and four kids. It tends to use a "cutesy family" type of humor, which I don't care for since I come from a smart ass family, which is represented more in Baby Blues and Zits (both written by the famous Jerry Scott).
So why did I get upset, you're wondering. I feel that when a strip is based off of real-life events, it should represent real-life events, as Family Circus regularly does. But every once in a while they throw in something that no child would ever say or do. Today the strip had Jeffy with a box of cereal poured all over the table. Jeffy is seen saying "They forgot to put raisins in my cereal!" REALLY??? Am I reading this wrong? Or is the kid seriously upset that he has no raisins in his cereal?? Is he going to eat more cereal because of the mishap or was he searching for the raisins that NO KID likes? Clearly this strip isn't believable.
Maybe its just me, but Keane is just losing it. That's what happens when a cartoonist gets old or passes the inking pen to another cartoonist, which happens quite often. But don't even get me started on how terrible Dennis the Menace is getting....
That's it for me!
Bobby P.
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