I know! I know! I haven't blogged for a month. And now when people click on July 2011, they'll only have one option to choose from. But you know what? This is pretty exciting!
As a large number of you know, I just returned from RAGBRAI (Register's Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa). A week long ride across the mighty state that is, in fact, hilly as hell! But since I'm dedicating an entire post to my recent trip, I thought I'd give it a fancy title and change the name.
Bobby P.'s What I Taught Myself....
BRA I edition
(Bob's Ride Across Iowa)
So what did I learn on my travels? Well, like I said earlier, this state IS hilly. I didn't think I would make it up any of the ginormous hills of the west side of the state. It definitely doesn't help when people tell you that you entered their town, but you still have to climb up four more hills to get to your camp located on the other side of town.
Second, I really don't care for people who ask where I'm from when they ask EVERY PERSON that enters town. If you really wanted to know where I was from, have a tablet in your hand so you can write it down along with everybody else's answer.
Third, the going rate for showers is $5. But if you go to the emergency room and continue wearing your wristband for the rest of the week, you'll get a reasonable discount. But, really you'll probably end up spending more on your visit to the E.R., so scratch that lesson.
Speaking of Emergency Rooms, that brings me to the fourth lesson: wear shoes when staying in a stranger's yard. There may be rusty nails that have been lying around for God only knows how long. Also, even if you're wearing cheap flip flops from Old Navy, they won't protect your feet.
And that relates to the fifth lesson: be sure when your last tetanus shot was. If you're not sure, call your mom who just happens to be AT your hometown hospital. And be sure to go to a REAL hospital, not the rundown county owned pieces of crap where your doctor has yet to have gone through puberty. Or he had graduated last of his class.
Don't eat at the pasta stands on the bike route. Its just a bad life-lesson waiting to happen.
Seven- Mexicans at Mexican restaurants don't know who Arnold Palmer is, don't know the drink, and simply don't understand how to MIX the drink. Instead they will bring you a full glass of lemonade and iced tea, but not a third glass. When they ask if you want a refill and what you're drinking just say "whatever".
Your ass hurts.
Random people will come up to you and start talking and telling random facts about themselves.
Lesson number ten is that air conditioning is a must. We spent five hours just sitting in a high school cafeteria. That's it. Well, we were also waiting for a all you can eat spaghetti supper.
You learn to hint to people to take you home so you can camp in their yard. This idea may work better if you didn't drive around in a stereotypical "rape van".
And finally, one learns to become a bum when riding across Iowa. I didn't shave for the week, had a sponge bath in a laundromat restroom, slept in a hole, and napped in a mall with a random stranger sitting next to me. I felt nasty and gross, but apparently smelled good enough to sit next to.
Had a wonderful week and learned quite a bit. The towns were pleasant and welcoming and I felt blessed to have the chance to visit them. Thanks to all who cheered me on and supported me on my ride!
That's it for me!
Bobby P.
