What I Taught Myself....November 18, 2011

Unlike most people, I don't mind using public restrooms.  In fact, I really enjoy them.  Its like a vacation for your ass, and in some public restrooms it can be an exotic one.  And, yes, some restrooms I am uncomfortable with.  I have random thoughts of "what if a man rapist kicks in the stall door" or "what if the hooligan teen gives me a wedgie while I'm using the urinal".

But one factor of the public restroom that pisses me off (bathroom joke) is the toilet seat protector.  I'm not sure how many of you use the toilet seat protector, but when I'm using the restroom and I have the option to use one, I do.  But this little contraption is complicated in my book.  If you were to look at the toilet seat protector (tsp for short), no where is it marked "front" or "back".  Either way the little flap that helps the water flush the tsp away could ricochet the urine back at you or the poop will land on a dry surface giving you that "porta potty" environment everyone seems to enjoy.

Another thing that I don't care for is when I'm struggling to unhook the paper to open the hole of the t.s.p. sometimes I tear the rest of the seat protector.  And with the automatic flushing toilets, once I accomplish opening the hole and set the protector on the toilet, the damn thing will flush and I have to start over.  It just seems awkward having to struggle to use the restroom with my pants down to my ankles in a bathroom stall....

So are seat protectors just some guys sick joke to make a fool out of a guy?  I believe so.  At least when I use toilet paper as a protector I get more cushion and don't have to fear getting a paper cut on the roughness of the regular protector.

That's it for me!
Bobby P.

What I Taught Myself....November 12, 2011

I'm not the perfect Christian.  I'll be the first to admit it.  Just look at some of the random crap I put on my blog.  But of course, who is?  But I've been going to church lately because of a family situation that has had a great effect on me and my other relatives.  Thats a whole other story and has little to do with what I'm talking about today.  I like to ramble.  Just ask those who attended my brother's wedding.

But anyway, I went to a church dinner tonight and it started to make me ponder:  do all old women wear the same perfume?  We live in a society where people must "smell good".  Teenagers wear Axe, which smells like toilet bowl cleaner, old men wear musk that smells like the testicles it comes from, and elderly women just....stink.  With their high-scented perfumes that have aged over a course of decades, they don't smell any better.

The thing is that the older a person gets, the first thing to go is the sense of smell.  A guy can tell by just sitting in a church basement.  A collection of old folks is a potpourri of scents and it isn't pleasant.  A guy could choke on the fumes in the air.

Of course I'm not the best smelling guy in the world, but I do my best.  I'm just glad I'm not living in the Stone Age where regular body odor was the Old Spice of the day.

That's it for me!
Bobby P.

What I Taught Myself....October 28, 2011

Growing up I was a picky eater.  Today, I'm somewhat of a picky eater.  I'll complain, but I'll still eat whatever is being served.  One of the things I don't care for is soups and stews.

I know we're getting into the "soup and stew" season with the weather getting colder and all.  The only "stew" I really enjoy eating is chili.  Otherwise, I am not totally thrilled with the pursuit of eating soup.  Not even my mother knows about my lack of excitement of soup, although one time she made a "hobo stew".  And yes, it did live up to the name.  It was whatever was in a trash can thrown into a pot.  And I felt it would've tasted better in the trash can.

So why do I dislike soup so much?  Studies show that 60 cans of Campbells soup are sold every second.  So shouldn't I enjoy soup?  I'm the type of guy that enjoys each dish, each side, in its entirety.  I'm not one to have a spoonful of yams, a spoonful of peas, then back to the yams.  I eat and finish the yams, then eat and finish the peas.  Why mix it all in a pot and add water?  Also, I feel stews are a sign of laziness.  "Hey I don't have time to make a home cooked meal so I'll throw everything in this pot and call that dinner!!"  Why not add milk to it so we don't have to waste time drinking too?

But like I said earlier, I complain, but I'll eat it.  Just don't expect to be served soup or stew when I'm cooking you dinner!

That's it for me!
Bobby P.

What I Taught Myself....October 9, 2011

Growing up I watched a lot of television.  No, Ma didn't sit me in front of the t.v. because she needed her "me time".  I was always fascinated by television.  How its done, what it takes to make a tv show, and the construction of a set, casting, etc.  In past years I've read even more on the creation of Sesame Street and animation.

But over the course of years I've been thinking about the oddities of one of my favorite shows "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood".  For my foreign readers, "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood"is about a man who has a second home to hang out by himself and talk to a wall.  He'd feed his fish, play with his trolley and puppets, and had a giant traffic signal and television set with a picture frame wrapped around it.  And a mailman who must not have heard of email since he thought he brought "speedy delivery".  Doesn't help that his name was Mr. McFeely and he had a mustache.  Talk about child molester...

But what always bothered me was whether or not Mrs. Rogers knew about this "second life".  Did she know that Mr. Rogers owned a second house where he worried about tracking dirt onto the carpets?  Or had a second closet full of sweaters? We never saw him do the wash but he never took sweaters home for the wife to clean.  And he never brought in a basketful of clean sweaters.  And the shoes?  Why not just wear slippers or socks.  If your feet and arms are cold, turn up the heat.

Its sad when a man must keep such a large secret from his wife...poor guy.  But he did it for decades.  And she never found out.

That's it for me!
Bobby P.

What I Taught Myself....September 27, 2011

So if you really know me, you already know that I love comic strips.  I'm talking about the ones that are printed in the daily newspaper: Garfield, Zits, Baby Blues, etc.  In fact, I always wanted a career in cartooning, yet I lack the daily creativity and the position is too competitive.  Instead, I'd rather make strips for myself or family to enjoy.

But today, I got upset when I read a classic, but in my mind, overrated, comic strip Family Circus.  Family Circus is a strip that started in 1960 and drawn by Bil Keane.  It is based off of Keane's life as a cartoonist/father with his wife and four kids.  It tends to use a "cutesy family" type of humor, which I don't care for since I come from a smart ass family, which is represented more in Baby Blues and Zits (both written by the famous Jerry Scott).

So why did I get upset, you're wondering.  I feel that when a strip is based off of real-life events, it should represent real-life events, as Family Circus regularly does.  But every once in a while they throw in something that no child would ever say or do.  Today the strip had Jeffy with a box of cereal poured all over the table.  Jeffy is seen saying "They forgot to put raisins in my cereal!" REALLY???  Am I reading this wrong?  Or is the kid seriously upset that he has no raisins in his cereal??  Is he going to eat more cereal because of the mishap or was he searching for the raisins that NO KID likes?  Clearly this strip isn't believable.

Maybe its just me, but Keane is just losing it.  That's what happens when a cartoonist gets old or passes the inking pen to another cartoonist, which happens quite often.  But don't even get me started on how terrible Dennis the Menace is getting....

That's it for me!

Bobby P.

What I Taught Myself....September 4, 2011

Wow!  I've really been slacking off lately.  I finished school two weeks ago and have noticed that my blog was just a way for me to procrastinate on my homework.  Now it feels like I have to maintain it to keep you folks entertained.

I just celebrated my 23rd birthday.  Actually my birthday was 23 years ago.  I just celebrated the 23rd anniversary of my birth (politically correct).  For some reason the song "My Best Days Are Ahead of Me" kept coming back to mind throughout the day.  The song talks about how you can't change the past, just have to keep plugging away at the present and look forward to the future.  And thats what I'm going to do. Look forward to the future.

Looking back at what I've accomplished: finished high school, earned a 2- and 4-year degree, found a job I love, rode on RAGBRAI, paid a speeding ticket, served on a jury, had two hernia surgeries, bought a car, shopped for car insurance, in debt, went zip-lining, met Adam Frederick, and made a black friend, I'm satisfied with how I've turned out.  And I wouldn't change a thing I've done.

I've made friends, lost friends, met great people, and heard great stories.  Not everything has gone to plan.  But when does it?  I've been disappointed at times when things haven't gone my way.  But lately I've been following the advice of one of my idols, Conan O'Brien: "Whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come.  The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and true originality."  At 23 I know who I am more than I did when I just turned 22.  I know who I am more today than I did yesterday but not as much as I will tomorrow.  My mind is stronger, I'm braver, and I'm more handsome.  My beard is growing quicker leading me to buy more shaving cream.  I'm mature yet still goofy.  I'm smarter but still have much to learn.  Although we might not think it, our best days are ahead.  We must be flexible.  Life isn't something you plan.  Its something you live.  I look forward to what is ahead of me.

That's it for me!
Bobby P.

What Steve Taught Me....

Readers-

I decided to dedicate this post to someone who made an impact on my life.  Today, I learned that a friend of mine passed away from results of a motorcycle accident last night.  I have never dealt with death very well.  I always seem to push people away and deal with my feelings on my own terms.  But I'm not looking for sympathy, instead I wanted to share with those of you who read this blog what Steve Henaman did to make me who I am today.

I first met Steve when I was 5 years old in preschool.  I never knew him before then.  There were only four boys and six girls in our class.  I had known the other boys, Jess Ciavarelli and John Coyle, for a while through Sunday School but somehow Steve and I became great friends.  We always fought John and Jess for the two fire helmets and we were the pilots for the make-believe airplane trip to Hawaii.  After every day, he'd go to his grandpa's truck and bring me a piece of candy.  Steve was my first best friend.  After preschool Steve and I drifted apart a bit.

Steve had made a big impact on my life though.  Throughout elementary school, I had difficulty "fitting in".  I pretended to be someone that I wasn't.  I made stupid jokes and, in a roundabout way, wasn't who I really was.  In eighth grade, Steve said something to me that I have always held near to my heart.  "Bob, you're a great guy and everything, but people like you more when you're yourself.  You're a lot funnier and fun to be around.  Be yourself."

 If Steve had never said that I don't believe I would be where I am today.  He gave me motivation and confidence in myself.  I never thanked him for those words and now I will never get the chance.  But God knows that I am thankful that He brought Steve into my life.  He was a great friend and a pretty damn good co-pilot on the make-believe trip to Hawaii.

Steve Henaman February 1, 1989 - August 12, 2011

What I Taught Myself....July 30, 2011

I know! I know!  I haven't blogged for a month.  And now when people click on July 2011, they'll only have one option to choose from.  But you know what?  This is pretty exciting!

As a large number of you know, I just returned from RAGBRAI (Register's Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa).  A week long ride across the mighty state that is, in fact, hilly as hell!  But since I'm dedicating an entire post to my recent trip, I thought I'd give it a fancy title and change the name.

Bobby P.'s What I Taught Myself....
BRA I edition
(Bob's Ride Across Iowa)


So what did I learn on my travels?  Well, like I said earlier, this state IS hilly.  I didn't think I would make it up any of the ginormous hills of the west side of the state.  It definitely doesn't help when people tell you that you entered their town, but you still have to climb up four more hills to get to your camp located on the other side of town.

Second, I really don't care for people who ask where I'm from when they ask EVERY PERSON that enters town.  If you really wanted to know where I was from, have a tablet in your hand so you can write it down along with everybody else's answer.

Third, the going rate for showers is $5.  But if you go to the emergency room and continue wearing your wristband for the rest of the week, you'll get a reasonable discount.  But, really you'll probably end up spending more on your visit to the E.R., so scratch that lesson.

Speaking of Emergency Rooms, that brings me to the fourth lesson: wear shoes when staying in a stranger's yard.  There may be rusty nails that have been lying around for God only knows how long.  Also, even if you're wearing cheap flip flops from Old Navy, they won't protect your feet.

And that relates to the fifth lesson: be sure when your last tetanus shot was.  If you're not sure, call your mom who just happens to be AT your hometown hospital.  And be sure to go to a REAL hospital, not the rundown county owned pieces of crap where your doctor has yet to have gone through puberty.  Or he had graduated last of his class.

Don't eat at the pasta stands on the bike route.  Its just a bad life-lesson waiting to happen.

Seven- Mexicans at Mexican restaurants don't know who Arnold Palmer is, don't know the drink, and simply don't understand how to MIX the drink.  Instead they will bring you a full glass of lemonade and iced tea, but not a third glass.  When they ask if you want a refill and what you're drinking just say "whatever".

Your ass hurts.

Random people will come up to you and start talking and telling random facts about themselves.

Lesson number ten is that air conditioning is a must.  We spent five hours just sitting in a high school cafeteria.  That's it.  Well, we were also waiting for a all you can eat spaghetti supper.

You learn to hint to people to take you home so you can camp in their yard.  This idea may work better if you didn't drive around in a stereotypical "rape van".

And finally, one learns to become a bum when riding across Iowa.  I didn't shave for the week, had a sponge bath in a laundromat restroom, slept in a hole, and napped in a mall with a random stranger sitting next to me.  I felt nasty and gross, but apparently smelled good enough to sit next to.

Had a wonderful week and learned quite a bit.  The towns were pleasant and welcoming and I felt blessed to have the chance to visit them.  Thanks to all who cheered me on and supported me on my ride!

That's it for me!

Bobby P.

What I Taught Myself....June 29, 2011

People seem to enjoy stories from my childhood.  I'm not sure if its because it took me a while to figure out meanings or ideas or if its that I have been a goofy guy since I was younger.  Here's another young Bobby story for you:

Daylight savings time is when we turn our clocks ahead and have "longer days" with the sun rising later in the morning and setting later in the evening.  I hadn't fully understood the meaning until I was in middle school  When I was told to set my clock ahead an hour, I actually thought "the days are actually gonna get longer".

This concept used to excite me when I was younger.  Why?  Because that would mean in the winter, days would be "shorter" which would result in my not having to be in school for the full 8 hours.  As a young lad, I thought that the government was actually helping children by setting an act which would make school days shorter and by having Americans set their clocks ahead an hour would make summer days longer resulting in a longer summer vacation.

So once spring came around, I would sit at my desk at school thinking "the days will be getting longer, but luckily we only have a few more weeks of school left".  Unfortunately, this idea didn't stick with me into my high school and college years.  And once I found the job, you realize that it doesn't matter how long the day is....you don't get a summer vacation.  At least the concept worked in second grade.

That's it for me!
Bobby P.

What I Taught Myself....June 17, 2011

I have quite a few pet peeves, as we've covered through past posts.  But today, I've discovered a new one.

I was in McDonald's today, and no I wasn't on one of my infamous failed dates (those happen at KFC!).  When I went to go fill my beverage cup with ice tea and delicious Minute Maid lemonade (endorsement deal? Wink Wink), a woman was standing right in front of the soda fountain.  It was fine that she was filling her cup with ice and soda.  But then she continued blocking the fountain to other patrons while putting tops on top of her cups and then unwrap, what seemed like, fifty straws.

Isn't there some sort of courtesy rule when it comes to the soda fountain?  I thought a guy was suppose to fill their cup with ice (if needed), dispense their choice of drink, and then slide over to pop on a top and grab a straw.

But what about McDonald's?  Maybe they aren't aware of the rule since they have the covers and straws above the fountain.  But other businesses know about it.  Casey's General Store has their drink add-ons on a separate table.  Culvers store theirs across from the fountain as does Wendy's and Subway.  So why doesn't McDonald's, the number one fast food restaurant?  Are they unwilling to follow the unwritten rules of America?  Or do they like to make their customers wait?  Have you been to a McDonald's lately?  A guy has to put in his order right away, yet stand in line for their ice cream cone for twenty minutes!!  I could've made my own ice cream in that time!!

But in case you were not aware, YES!  Yes, there is a rule of courtesy.  So if I'm standing in line behind you, you better have your drink Maid in a Minute or less (stupid pun)

That's it for me!
Bobby P.

An Apology From Bob

You may have noticed that the title of this post isn't a regular WITM post name.  That is because this is an apology.  Rare, I know.  But take it or leave it.


Recently I posted on Facebook:


Memorial Day means tourist season in Plymouth. Make sure to stop at my shop to pick up a souvenir spoon!! (Note: Spoon may NOT actually be a "Plymouth, IA" spoon.)


Believe it or not, this has stirred some confusion.  I've been asked a few times whether or not I'm actually selling my spoon collection.  The answer is no.


I started collecting spoons about four years ago as a joke.  Today I have three spoon racks full of collectible spoons, with having only purchased about 10 spoons myself.


So why did I make that post?  The reason is that Memorial Day is the biggest celebration in Plymouth.  A number of folks come back to the small village to visit their deceased relatives and those who gave their lives for our country.  So I decided to post that I was selling spoons to "tourists" to make a little money.  I was posting it as a joke.  I would never sell my spoon collection since I plan to hand it down to future generations of Bobby P.'s.


Believe it or not, half the crap that I post on Facebook is not true.  It's just random crap that comes to my mind and think it would be funny.


So I'm sorry for any confusion that I may have caused you.  And to those who give me spoons for the collection, thank you.  And a big thank you to all of you who read this blog.


Sincerely, 
Bobby P.

What I Taught Myself....May 26, 2011

On the news this morning, Robin Meade had a story about a woman who wasn't allowed to bring her iPad into Yankee Stadium since it is considered a laptop, which are not allowed in the stands.  Robin claimed that the iPad is NOT a laptop and if iPhones are allowed inside iPads should be too (since, really folks, iPads are just a ginormous iPhone).

While watching, I wasn't firm on one side or the other.  Instead, I was thinking about something more.....well, indifferent.  I was wondering why anyone would NEED to bring an iPad or any other "laptop" to Yankee Stadium, or any other stadium for that matter?  Yes, the Boston Red Sox allow laptops in their stadium.  But why would you want to?  You paid for tickets to see a LIVE baseball game as well as a $10 hot dog and $20 beer.  Wouldn't you want to enjoy the beauty of America's pastime?

Now you're probably thinking "what about the bloggers, the reporters, the columnists?"  USE PAPER!!!  Whatever happened to writing something down?  Plus, the majority of these fields have contracts with major television networks, radio, and online streaming that the newspapers should just save money and not send a reporter to the field anyway.

Anyway, I'm talking about the average joe.  If I went to a game and saw a person typing on a computer during the game, I would take his laptop and chuck it onto the field.  And after he cursed at me and asked why I did it, I'd say "If I brought my typewriter and used it during the game, you'd think I'd look dumb too!"

That's it for me!
Bobby P.

Make sure to rate this post below!!

What I Taught Myself....May 14, 2011

Have you ever noticed how the older a person gets, the worse the drink choices they have to offer their guests?  No, you haven't?  Well, I'll explain my theory.

When I was younger, we'd go to my grandparents and they'd have an entire refrigerator full of soda (yes, I call it soda!).  They had Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew, A&W, Squirt, etc.  Over the years, though, the beverage choices have dwindled to just root beer and 7-Up (I only drink 7-Up when I have to throw up).

The reason the dwindling has happened may be because we don't visit their house as often or that our family doesn't drink soda.  At our house, our "beverage fridge" contains mostly beer and milk along with any beverages the parentals have to drink before a major medical exam.

But even at other houses I've been to, the beverage choices are few.  No, I don't want to drink water from that same moldy green water container that you've had my entire lifetime and then some (Peshak's, you know what I'm talking about).

And now that I'm older, the only beverage I am offered is coffee.  I love coffee, don't get me wrong.  But I don't want to have to smell it every time I take a piss.  And if you offer a person a drink, please be sure that the mugs or glasses are well kept.  No lipstick or matter from drinks past.  We live in a civilized society, folks.

So keep your fridge stocked with delicious beverages.  The mowing boy might enjoy a nice iced tea!

That's it for me!
Bobby P.

By the way, now at the end of each post you can leave a reaction.  Please click on the reaction you agree with whether it was funny, interesting, factual, or random.  Thanks!

What I Taught Myself....May 1, 2011

I'm not the biggest sports fan.  In fact, the only sport I somewhat follow is baseball.  I never had an interest in football although my dad tried to get me into the sport.  But baseball was something that I actually enjoyed watching (yet, I hated little league!!)

But apparently this past weekend the NFL draft has been taking place.  I don't know the rules of the draft, nor do I really give a rip.  All I know is that teams make selection of players and sign them for the coming season.

The thing that I don't really understand, though, is that when the draft is taking place football fans talk about their favorite teams as though they have been a part of the selection and draft session.  Fans say "We made a great selection on a linebacker" or "Why did we trade the running back to Green Bay?"

Folks- you're not on the team.  You're not a part of the decision making process of the NFL teams nor are you a part-owner of a franchise.  How often do the actual owners call on their fans to help make the important decisions that come with owning a team?  All you are is a viewer and consumer of the products that are advertised during football games.  And don't even get me started on state governments having to finance million dollar stadiums!!

That's it for me!
Bobby P.

What I Taught Myself....April 16, 2011

I saw on the news the other day that a town was thinking about dropping the the word 'Easter' from their annual Easter Egg Hunt since they didn't want to offend any would-be attendees.  I didn't catch the full story since just by hearing the blurb really upset me.

I wouldn't call myself the perfect Christian, but I was raised in a household that loved the good Lord.  Growing up, we always went to the annual egg hunt down at the local school grounds.  I always looked forward to searching the yard for the spring-colored eggs that were filled with goodies.  I probably went to the event for ~10 years, we'll say.  Not once, NOT ONCE did any of the children scream "I'M OFFENDED BY THIS EVENT INCLUDING THE WORD EASTER!!!!"

First off, egg hunts have been associated with Easter for decades, much like Trick-or-Treating with Halloween.  Should I be throwing a fit because I hate Halloween?  Yes, I'm disgusted with the holiday since it just irritates me, but I deal with it.  If you don't like the celebrations, just don't participate in them.  Are these towns so desperate for participants that they drop words so more people participate in them?  If I dropped vowels from sentences because my blog would draw more people because it caters to vowel-haters make sense?  NO!  People read my blog because its full of useless information and opinions.  In fact, I really could care less if people read this.  It just gives me something to do.

But dropping Easter from Egg Hunt, Christ from Christmas, Trick-or-Treating from Halloween, turkey from Thanksgiving, and flags from Flag Day just doesn't make sense.  These have been traditions for decades.  I mean, look up Easter anyway: the word is derived from Eastre, the goddess associated with Spring.  Well, I guess we have to cater to the spring-haters.  Whatever.

That's it for me!

Bobby P.

P.S.-  To the person that friend requested me, I accepted, then you deleted me, requested me again, I accepted, then you deleted me, requested me again....yea, I blocked you!!!!

What I Taught Myself....April 7, 2011

Sorry!  I know its been a while since I wrote something here.  Some of us DO have lives outside of our blog.

Today on the news, Robin Meade had a story about how the state of Florida may pass a law allowing companies to place advertisements on the side of school buses.  Tobacco, alcohol beverages, and political ads would not be allowed along with sexual advertisements.

Advertisements have been allowed inside schools for a number of years.  A few years ago a school in Iowa began allowing "billboard" advertisements along the walls of the building's hallways.  By charging a large amount per advertisement, schools were able to break even or actually make a profit.

Parents complain about how advertisements would distract children who ride the bus.  My question to those parents: have you ever BEEN ON a school bus?  The ads on a side of a bus are NOT going to distract your children.  Kids on that bus are busy trying to light up cigarettes, groping each other, and replacing every-other word in a sentence with the f-word.  A few ads are not going to distract your children.  A majority come out of the womb with A.D.D. any way.

I don't believe that a school district should even have to sink so low that it must place ads on any school property.  Districts have soft drink companies place their logos on scoreboards and vending machines.   Where the districts really need to make the cuts would be by having one superintendent in each county.  Why should a dinky school pay their superintendent $100,000+ salary anyway?  I can sit on my ass all day too!

That's it for me!
Bobby P.

What I Taught Myself....March 18, 2011

I believe I've mentioned before that I have a lot of pet peeves.  You wouldn't know it looking at me, but I do get pissed off about 'little things' such as having a microwave clock with :32 seconds left on it (just clear the clock!) or when a dryer door is left open with the light on with nothing inside.

One of my biggest pet peeves is those bluetooth cell phone hearing aid things.  So a person doesn't have to hold their cell phone, instead they can walk around with this stupid thing hanging off their ear.  Basically its just an ugly earring.

Now just by watching people with these headsets I have noticed that there are two groups of people who use them: the cocky "first class" folks and those on welfare.  Just FYI, this is within the United States.  I don't wanna upset any of my foreign readers.

But seriously, there is a group of cockies (correct term?) who always wear this device.  WHY?  I understand that the headset is directed more towards car use.  Who needs to wear a headset in Target?  And when they wear it and have a phone call, they look like rain man since they're talking to themselves (Rain man counted cards and he was a ritard).  So when I think that the person is talking to me suddenly I'M the idiot because I'M not the one with the earring.

It also irritates me when people use cell phones when they're with a group of friends or family.  If the person on the other line, then go and hang out with them.  Don't text around me either.  I'll freakin flip since I now know that I'm not that interesting.  Sure, not everyone cares to know that McDonald's spent $12 million on developing an oven for the McPizza which flopped in 1997, but I find it interesting.

But if your arm gets tired from talking on the cell phone for so long, then just have a face-to-face conversation with the person.

Thats it for me!
Bobby P.

What I Taught Myself....March 9, 2011

I like to share stupid stories from when I was younger. Stories like how I used to mark that I was Hispanic because I thought Caucasian was a Caribbean native show people how unique I really am.

But the story that I'd like to share with you is THE TRUTH.  Some of you who are reading this might find this story as a made up fable, but I guarantee that it is 150% true.

During my freshman year in high school, we had to take a little questionnaire on what we were looking for in a relationship partner.  It was some sort of fundraiser for our high school student council and I was doing whatever it took to get out of doing my algebra homework (its overrated anyway) and ended up taking more time doing the questionnaire than I did filling out my SATs.

Fast-forward a month later when the student council was selling the results.  Word started to spread that there was one name that seemed to be number one on every girls' list of best matches.  Who was this macho man that everyone was talking about?  The one and only, Bobby P.

Girls from every grade 9-12 had that beautiful name listed on their list.  Unfortunately lists were seen torn up and left on the floor of the high school hallway along.  A lot of the girls were pissed that their "high school sweetheart" didn't even make the top 10 list.

But being curious, ol' Bob, I just had to see who made my top 10 list.  Maybe it was Allison Lickteig, the girl that every boy in middle and high school dreamt about.  Or it could be Cathy Cottrell, the always-smiling Junior.

So after giving up my hard-earned dollar, I ripped open the results.  And who was my number one? Sarah Carstens, the devil worshipping, chimney smoking, grunge band listening......thing.

Half of the girls in high school had a kind, polite boy on their lists.  But to this day I believe that the survey was a hoax.  I didn't get asked out by any of the other girls on my list.  Of course I never saw half of them since they were in in-school suspension or detention, and I never had either one in my high school career.

Yet I don't believe the tests actually helped in my dating life nor with my friendships.  Or maybe my results got mixed up with someone else's.  I mean, the results said that Matt Gordon would make a great best friend for me.  OH COME ON!!!!!!

Thats it for me!
Bobby P.

What I Taught Myself....February 26, 2011

Hey everyone!  How you doing?  Good?  Good.

In case you were wondering, surgery went well and I'm recovering like a chance.  And the beard is coming in pretty crappy but thats what happens when you haven't completed puberty at age 22.

I am completing my Conflict Management class in the next week. For one of my assignments for the class was to share a conflict that I encountered that was influenced by my culture and environment.  It was a pretty easy assignment for me because we had a debate about a subject in my own family.  I'll share what I wrote with you:

My own family has been pretty open to other cultures since I once dated a girl adopted from Romania.  Although I grew up in Plymouth Iowa (which has a very Bohemian background- Peshak is Czechoslovakian- and 99% white), I believe that my family taught me to be an open minded person and accepting of others' culture.


An example of a conflict that my own family had encountered in the past year:
My brother started dating a girl over a year ago.  When we were in Des Moines (where they live) she invited our family over to her house for supper.  When we went inside her house she asked us to remove our shoes before walking on her carpets.  Growing up, my parents never ever ever asked their guests to remove their shoes before walking into the house.  And I began thinking about that after this event occurred.  None of my neighbors, grandparents, or other relatives and friends in Plymouth ever asked me to remove my shoes.  When I dated (now my ex) girlfriend, she said that my house was the first she'd been to that didn't care about removing shoes.  Our carpets are clean (vacuumed once a week) and only replaced once in 30 years.


Where I'm going with this is that other people from different areas view this as a rude event.  Why track in dirt?  What about snow?  Its just the way I, my father, his father, have been raised.  
We're laid back and easy going.  Nothing much bothers my family and we're very open.  Yes my brother is married to a person who hates shoes and he's okay with it.  And I know I'll have to adjust to it.

How does everyone else feel about this subject?  Are you open to shoes in the house or not?

What I Taught Myself....February 18, 2011

We're over halfway through February and I have yet to post anything.  Well, I would like to apologize to those of you who have been waiting. The last thing I would want to do is let down my friends who read this blog.

So what have I been teaching myself?  As many of you know, I've been taking an online class this term (conflict management) which includes a group project.  First off, why should we do a group project?  Group projects are probably my least favorite thing in the world.  Especially when in a face-to-face class where I'm always the youngest person in class and all the "hotties" have gone through menopause (Hey! I wouldn't have to deal with the bitchiness every 28 days).  Another thing I dislike about group projects is that when doing them, I don't really know what is going on and show it by just agreeing with people.  Sometimes I end up in a group that includes numerous people who don't pay attention in class.

In this online class we have to read a book (which I have yet to open) and apply the "rules to negotiation" to a case study that involves a divorce, which I have never gone through (maybe if my brother would get his head out of his butt he could hurry up and help me with that). But lucky me, I volunteered to make the presentation with information gathered by the other people in my group.  So really, I'm the smart one in this group.

With this particular group project we had to volunteer for tasks during the project (leader, reviewer, scribe, presenter).  The first person to ask for a position was an older woman who said that she works as a library director, in charge of making as she should, bookkeeping, conducting board meetings, and public relation.  She also said she was married, mother of six, and grandmother of two.  So she sounded like a good choice.  The problem is that we hadn't heard from her for two weeks and the project is due next Sunday.  Luckily we had a woman start setting up chats and getting the ball rolling.  She said if Lauretta (the original leader) is no longer in class then she would take the position.  We had a chat on Wednesday and Lauretta joined us.  She had no clue what was going on and tried to somewhat take charge, like George W. Bush (HAHA).

I just don't care for when people volunteer to be in an important position when the won't fulfill the duty.  Its like letting a baby drive a car because he asked to (thanks Dad) but we all know how it will end (we didn't need that tree anyway.....or car).  Online group projects don't work.  When a group gathers in person, the members fall into the position.  Someone will feel as though they need to take charge.  Someone else will take notes (which I do...with cartoons!).  And a few will just sit there looking dumbfounded.  Just because online classes work, doesn't mean that group work will also.

That's it for me!
Bobby P.

Shout out to Bill K.! (I kind of missed doing that.)


*Have a topic you want my opinion on?  Just email Bobby P. at bobpeshak@gmail.com*

What I Taught Myself...January 28, 2011

I saw on the news this morning that a woman graduated with a Masters Degree....in THE BEATLES!!!

Seriously, this woman holds the first ever Masters Degree in a college program that is set around the history of the Beatles.  So what would she be able to do with this college degree?  Well, probably nothing much but open up her own Beatles museum.

Honestly, I've never been that big of a fan of the Beatles.  I feel that they, as well as Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson, and in the North Iowa area, Buddy Holly, are all overrated.  Sure they have some great songs.  And I like rock and roll and a few pop songs, but seriously, no group is worth making a college program in which you can't do anything with the degree.  If you want a degree you can't do anything with, just get an Associate's.  Trust me, I looked and couldn't find any jobs.

But should our schools make degree programs that are useless?  Wouldn't it be better to spend money in other areas?  The school stated that the reason they designed the program in the first place was that "there were a lot of books about the Beatles, but there weren't any education programs".  Hey, guess what!  There are a lot of books about Sesame Street, but no college or university has a degree program.  If there were, I wouldn't be an HR major!

That's it for me!
Bobby P.

What I Taught Myself...January 19, 2011

Today's post we're gonna start with a quiz.  So get your pencils sharpened and a piece of paper out. Here's the question:

What do these three items have in common?

A. A running car

B. Talking on a cell phone

C. Topping off

Answer: What are three things you SHOULDN'T do while pumping gas.

Now, I'm not Mr. Safety, but I do tend to follow the rules.  Also, I'm not one to "tell" people what to do.

But today it seemed that lots of people didn't mind telling ME how to do things.  For example it snowed this morning.  I'm a pretty cautious driver so I took my time not sure whether or not I would slide on the new fallen snow.  My neighbor, who was following me, was riding my ass (not literally) and wouldn't back off.  Then when I came up to an intersection, a car was stopped across the street and had the right of way.  So I waited patiently for the car to take their turn, meanwhile my neighbor honked at me.

Once I got to work, I pulled into MY parking spot that is located at the back of the parking lot.  Once I got out and was walking into work a plowman came up and told me to move my car since it was in his way.  I wanted to tell him that he should be skilled to drive around it since that is where I'm SUPPOSED to park.

After a day of people telling me what to do I went to the gas station to refuel my car.  Then I saw a lady do three acts that aren't to be done at a fuel pump.  Should I have told the lady to not do the acts since she was risking lives?   The items that I did earlier that day weren't endangering anyone.  But people had the right of mind to tell me what I was doing wrong.   So what should I have done?

Tell me what you would do.

That's it for me!

Bobby P.

What I Taught Myself...January 11, 2011

Today is January 11, 2011 or 1-11-11.  Big deal? Nope.  Not to me any way.  I remember back in 1999 when it was 9-9-99.  Oh, and how about those days that the experts call consecutive days.  You know, when at 12:34 5-6-78.  People actually flip out about this stuff.  And really its sad.

Well people are really gonna piss themselves when November comes around, especially Armistice Day, or as you unpatriotic folks call it "Veteran's Day" or November 11. But, anyway, at 11:11 11-11-11, think about how many people are going to freak out! And then there are those real crazies that make it more technical 11:11:11 11-11-11.  I like that one since its a palindrome (i.e. bob, race car, etc (not etc, because reading etc backwards you get cte and thats not a real word.))

Now you're probably wondering where I'm going with this whole rambling. People believe that the end of the world will happen on days such as today.  Or something even bigger yet. Well, its a big year this year, especially in May.

I read in the paper the other day that people believe that Jesus is coming back in May.  Thats right, our Lord and Savior is coming back in May folks.  And I just read about it yesterday.  WHY ARE WE JUST FINDING OUT NOW!!!!  Shouldn't we be putting on some sort of benefit or potluck for Jesus?  Seriously, and it was on page 6 of the newspaper.  THIS SHOULD BE ON PAGE ONE!!!  I was so upset that I called the Editor of the newspaper and complained.  And I urge you to call your local new stations, newspapers, radio stations, and put on your Facebook that Jesus is coming!!!  Get your suits dry cleaned, your hairs cut, your pits shaved (LADIES!), and your beards trimmed (also ladies).  And lets get this dinner organized.

That's it for me!
Bobby P.